What is wrong with me?

Why I can't just be happy and content. Does life have to be such a freakin roller coaster. I guess I make my life that way, when in reality its not what I want. I've seen others who can be satisfied with things the way they are but there is always just something missing in my life I guess. I can't be content at work with the hours I get. I always have to argue. I can't be calm with other parts in my life, they have to be perfect. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME!! Can't I just be happy. I mean things are good. I have good friends and things are working out in a good way to help me prepare for my mission but yet I'm not happy. Something is missing and I just can't freakin figure it out. I try to take my mind off it but yet here I am at 1:30 in the morning confessing my soul to a useless internet site. Maybe my hopes are that someone will read it and tell me whats wrong. A random stranger if at best.

Why do I complicate things. Take them out of the bounds they are comfortably set in and contort them into realms in which I see fit. Can I not let something be? Why must I hang up the phone always wondering Why? Why can't I just let it be. Things are supposed to work themselves out. Life is supposed to fall into place when it seems like lifes standing still and I'm doing all the work. I try to controll whats uncontrolable.

I feel like I'm stuck in a movie where the main character is lost. He has just overcome something that he thought was never possible. He tore down a wall that was thought to be industructable. But now he looks at the ruble and past the wall with nothing in front of him but a blank canvas. He has the choice to paint what he wishes, but no paint. It's supposed to paint itself people say. Well then it needs to hurry up and do so because I'm tired of waiting.

I'm tired of waiting for life to unfold. I am to impatient for that. I would never wish for my life to pass me by, but I wish I could experience it faster. Come what may has become a sentence that is voodoo to me. I hate that. Lets see what happens. Here's an idea, I think life is completely controlable, just not by yourself. You can't control the actions of others but you can sure influence them. Two people who work for the same goal have twice the chance to get what they desire. I think that this whole, you have no control over life and time is bull. Watch me control my life to how I want it to be. I know some things will just happen but I have the agency to control what I have to do with my future.

What the heck is wrong with me?

She came, we talked, she left with my money ... story of my life

I am going to tell you a story of a boy who is stupid for answering the phone at 10:00 @ night.

Where to begin ... oh how about at 9:00 where this boy named Brayden decided to go to bed. Brayden had work in the morning and seeing as he usually passes out around 9:30 he thought it would be a good idea to get an extra 30 minutes in there. So anyways he goes to bed dreaming of sugar plum fairies and lollipops. While drifting away on a cloud into the Magical Noodle King's Treasure Vault full of noodles with cheese melted on them, there came a loud noise. He woke up to find that his phone was ringing and upon opening his heavy eyes he found that it was none other than his friend Coocoo Krazygirl. So he answered the phone.

Soon enough she told him that she was coming to his house and she did. After she was there they sat and talked till around 11:00 and by that time Brayden could barely keep his eyes open. She insisted on staying till 11:45 and Brayden graciously declined. Stating that he had work in the morning he demanded that she leave his house at once. After begging and pleading she made him a rediculous offer. Brayden must play her a song on the guitar and flex for her. Brayden said nay, nay nay nay nay nay. After insisting for what seemed like years for her to leave he finally just laid down in his bed. She being the WOMAN that she is grabbed the money out of his back pocket and left. 6 dollars and an hour later she left... and Brayden could finally get some sleep.

THE END

P.S. Alix you owe me six dollars

It's Just a Dream

Yet another song to add to the list of Blair's Horribly Recorded Songs alblum lol. This one is for alot of things going on my life, from problems, to people I love, and to those who I have hurt. Enjoy:

It's Just a Dream

by: Blair Canfield

Verse 1
I am waking up to cold showers and hot chocolate
Wondering if my life will ever change
Sometimes they tell me to be different
But then they tell me that I am acting strange

Pre-Chorus
But one things for sure
I'm not any more
the same as I used to be
I'm all grown up
and life's just tough
to see things how I always seem them before

Chorus
Cause we're drifting away
and i'd rather stay
around when life gets rough
But life not that long
to just sit along
And wish for something more

Verse 2
Throw me a curve ball into my new life
place me in dreams where I am perfect
Take my hand and fly with me so we can see the sunset
Then kiss me on the cheek and say that its all worth it

Pre-Chorus
But we are living a dream
where bound are unseen
and rules are bent to work
Where no ones around
you don't hear a sound
and you get what you want and more

Chorus
But we're drifting away
and i'd rather stay
around when life gets rough
But life not that long
to just sit along
And wish for something more

ASDKFJQWE

Don't you just sometimes feel like ASDKFJQWETKJAG... it could be frustration, joy, anger, WHATEVER!! But right now ASDFJK is a good thing. I am very happy right now, confused but happy. But thats ok because its the first time in a while that I have been happy. I like it.

Why?

I can't figure things out sometimes, and with my crazy mind thats hard. I like to know everything I can and be able to know the whole situation. But sometimes that isn't possible I guess. Trying to put pieces of an unsolvable puzzle together is what I feel like I'm trying to do. Is there an answer to everything. I would think that every question should have an answer. Maybe I'm wrong. But my hope is, is that I can one day find the solution to solve some of the problems in my life. I mean that is what God is there for right? To show us the way when we need guidance... I guess I just answered myself. But its not just up to him. We have to search for the answers. I was never good at I Spy books so then again I think I have the disadvantage in this scenario. One of these days I'll ask god what the answers are, for now I guess I will just strugle, it'll put hair on my chest I guess.

Just wrote a new SONGGGG!!!!

Haha as some of you know I love music, love to write it sing it all that jazz (haha musical reference) but anyways here are the lyrics to my brilliant master piece. As well as the song ... hopefully.

I'm Already There

by: Blair Canfield

Verse 1
Living my life no worries no plan
Just trying being a good honest man
Got myself self a job, a car but no girl
Sometimes its better that way in this world
But there always Exit you don't mean to take
But usually it takes you to the right place
And you meet that girl who changes your life
who one day you wish that she could be your wife

Pre Chorus
The one thing thats hard to define
is loving that girl so much that I wish she was mine

Chorus
Cause it just ain't fair and I won't back
to the feelings I had or the chances lacked
because life has unexpected turns it seems
And this time it worked out for me because
That I love her so much ...
All I can feel her touch...
Because I'm already there

Verse 2
So I got the guts to sneak out one night
And she hopped in the car I said hold on tight
And we rushed through the streets like we owned the place
I could tell she was happy by that look on her face
The night was perfect you could see the sky
A perfect night I thought I'd give it a try
I was wondering what she would want she'd want to do
She looked around and stated baby I want you

Chorus
I said I'm SOOO there
and the feelings that you give me replace my air
that you steal away but I didn't say
The one that that keeps me from running away
That I love you oh so much...
And I long for your touch
Because I'm already there.

Verse 3
It just happens every once in a while
that a guy will find a girl and make her smile
by saying words that he knows is true
He says Baby I love you

Pre Chorus
Then she asked me quietly
Would you be there for me?
Promise me this I want to know
would you take me where I want to go.

Chorus
I said we're already there
And when your with me you have nothing to fear
I'll take your breath away not just for a day
I mean forever you'll see
as long as you love me
I'll always be there

"Just Live Your Life"

You can't always worry about what others do or say. Sometimes your life will go a different way and you wont have the same views on things. Things change, friends become enemies, enemies become friends, you lose people you love, and there are some people you would love to lose. But for some reason the grass is always greener over the next hill. Its all about getting up the first hill.

Like so today I just hung out with Matt and Shelby like nothin special. It started at 11:00 where Shelby decided to drag me into Joans (Junky. Overpriced. And. Nonsence. Scraps. , is pretty much what then sell) Well we got into this great store and automatically I felt out of place. The place was filled with WOMEN, tons of them, Women with children, Women who's children pushed them in wheelechairs, Women with nothing better to do with their time was pretty much what the store was filled with. Shelby started for the fabric, that automatically rings a bell for the most exciting thing possible to buy. We just trotted around, litterally like she trotted like a horse it was kinda cute, around the store. So we had to pull a number in order to get a person to come help us with our fabric, lucky number 65. So she is trying to get this lady to cut up her Fabric, but she didn't grab enough. So I laughed at her because she had to walk all the way back to get more fab. When she came back she still needed more so she had to go get more haha sucker. While she was gone the lady said you two are so cute and happy are you guys related and I go no, we just got ingaged :D haha. Little did Shelby know when she got back that I had let the lady know this haha. I'm sure that lady wasn't to sure of us from that point on.

Just live life how it plays out it works out better that way :D.

Life...

Its interesting huh? One moment you sit there in a perfect state of bliss and happiness but then the realization comes. Your thoughts seep into your head and you know that what your doing is wrong. Maybe not wrong but its definitely not right at the moment. Defining whats right and wrong is depending on a couple of variables.

First: How do you feel?

How do I feel? That's a question you have to look on the inside for obviously. Is the sitiuation making you happy, sad, frustrated, joyful. You are the only one who can completely answer that question. But there are friends to help with that as well. Such as a good friend would tell you that you seem ____. In that sense you could take what they said to heart and contimplate that. But all in all it comes down to what you think. You can't make your decisions off what others tend to tell you.

Second: Are you changing?

Is the situation your in changing you? If so how so? Is it making you a better person? Are you more depressed? Things like this are obvious signs to answer question one. In some instances you make think you are happy and everything is good but when you look at how you are changing you may not like it. Something might not be going right and you decide you want to change that. That is a good way to tell if something needs to be done.

Third: Is the situation going to effect something important to you?

Sometimes our decisions change our future. But we have the option of not letting it change for the worse. Or we can decide to make something that is upcoming easier. Say you don't want to smoke but you hang out with smokers, to me that sounds like a horrible place to put yourself because you eventually may smoke.

But we are all forced to make decisions in life. No matter who we are we all have to make them. And whether they hurt you or someone else make sure that your first priority is how you feel. I makes everything easier to deal with in the long run.

Life is interesting when it come to choices because it can change drastically with small choices. If traveling around the earths equater in a straight line one should end up in the same exact place upon arrival back to the start. But if one diverts only 1 degree off course you could end up 5 hours away from your initail starting point. Life is the same but just not as noticable until you are 5 hours away so to speak.

Sometimes it may be for the good or the better, but until that part of your life ends you wont see the effects of your actions. Just keep in mind that worrying about the future will only stress you because you won't have an idea where you will end up till later. So forget that fight you got in with your significant other. Don't worry about whether you should wear that red dress or the black one, because the outcome won't matter until way later. And lets face it why would you want to worry?

My Las Vegas

My Las Vegas is the suburban opposition to its stereotypical face of bright lights, night lifes, and parties. No my Las Vegas would have to be the soccer mom counterpart to the cocktail waitress scene. I live on the north end of town far away from the life which Vegas portrays. I live in a community with horses, parks, schools and Walmarts. It is the typical scene of any friendly neighborhood, just placed in Las Vegas. Our neighborhood starts its morning with friendly joggers pushing the world under their feet as they run to an unknown finish line. Followed by children making their way to school to gain an education. Around mid day there is not a sign of life outside due to the blaring sun rays. Then kids begin to have a happier attitude after arriving home from school, and you can usually always find a pickup game of basketball to join them in. Families spend time outside in backyards as twilight hits the skyline, and around nine o'clock it all raps up to start a new day. That is my Las Vegas.

Dwell in Holy Places

As you continue throughout your week remember that it is important that we dwell in holy places. At work, school, or just with friends make sure that you make your environment a place where the spirit can dwell. Just as if you would create a place for a new T.V. in your family room, clean the space around you from the filth of the world and dwell in holy places.

DANCE!!!!

When was the last time you danced? Whether you be 4, 14, or 40 EVERYONE SHOULD DANCE!!! Even if you can't you should have no problem because I am probably the worst dancer ever. Do it ANYWHERE. In your room jammin to "Who Let The Dogs Out" or pool side to Journey. I wouldn't advise it in the shower but everywhere else is acceptable. Just dance its the funnest way to forget about the woes of life. AND SMILLE!!!!!!! Dance Like This

Everyone has there own view of the gospel and to them it hits home. The experiences they go through and their love is shown in it. I personally have 3 simple beacons. I have had my own fair share of trials but I believe that these three things apply to everyone in their own way.

1. Sacrifice Brings forth the Blessings of Heaven
   
   "If ye love me, keep my commandments" John 14:15

" I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise." D&C 82:10

This is one of my favorites because so much is applied here. Its so simple if you love him... keep his commandments. When you do so he will bless you. Its a very nice thing to know. There are times in your life where you will have to give up what you love the most and it may be the hardest thing for you. But your doing the right thing and the lord with bless you.

I had one of the greatest girl friends in the world. She was very loving. She would do anything that I asked of her. She had my heart and I had hers. Well as I was on the CHT we were taught a lesson that dealt with relationships. In which it stated that not only should we not have one but we should wait till after out mission to have one. I felt really bad because I knew that if I did not break up with this amazing girl soon that I would not have the will to go on a mission. I broke up with her and both of us were very upset but I knew I was doing the right thing. But I have noticed that time which I once spent talking on the phone or texting that I have now replaced with scripture study, prayer, and meditation. The blessing have been countless my knowledge has been enhanced ten fold and me and this amazing girl still have a great friendship.

2. Keep It Simple Stupid (KISS)

"The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple." Psalms 19: 7

In the gospel we complicate things to much. We see that there are grey areas which fill our minds with doubt and eventually make us lose sight of our true testimony. What can we do to fill these grey areas? Keep it simple stupid. For example: Joseph Smith either God the father and his son or he didn't. If you believe that then...

• God the Father, Jesus Christ, and The Holy Ghost are 3 Separate beings
• Which means Joseph Smith was a prophet of god
• Which means He translated the Book of Mormon by the power of God
• Which make the Book of Mormon a true book
• Which testifies of the coming of Christ
• Which means Christ walked the earth
• Which makes the Bible True
• Which means the fall of Adam once happened
• Which means God created the Earth
• Which means God is a God

I can't seem to find any grey lines in that.

3. Love One Another

"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another." John 13:34

This is an amazing concept to learn, and I admire one who can love every person and sees that they are a child of god. This goes hand in hand with being happy. When you show someone respect they will show it back, and if they don't who is in the wrong? The one who loved, or the one who will not love? God has COMMANDED US, this isn't a suggestion, to love one another. That person who cuts you off on the free way is your brother. The man who steals your money, is your brother. Have you ever thought about hurting your enemy. I have! But think about this. Abraham Lincoln once said "Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?". How true is that.

God is love. I have some co-workers that I sometime don't get along with. When I go to work with the mind set of loving everyone. From the people I work with to the customers I serve. I have the most amazing night. People see my glow, my happiness and my love for the gospel. What an inspiration it would be if that when the person who cuts you off on the freeway instead of getting angry and flippin him the bird you instead allow him to enter your lane and just smile at him. Its amazing to see the reaction on peoples faces when you take a hostile situation and make it a loving environment.

These are my 3 beacons of my testimony and I love the gospel with all my heart. If we all live by the commandments and words of god we will go so much further in life.

Just Be Happy!

Someone has gone around and whipped the smiles off people's faces for some reason. We as a people have become very depressed lately. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?! Things have gone wrong in the world for as long as history has been recorded. Don't you think that maybe in the future things will get bad too? All I'm saying is that as LDS members we should be happy that things are bad. Think of the lives we can bless, or the happiness that we can bring to people who have not yet heard the message of Christ and his everlasting convenent of Salvation (Baptism) and Exaltation (Eternal Marriage). For those who are not LDS, was there ever such a time where you could be walking and be talking to a person via text message 5o miles away. We are so blessed with technology and the beauty of the earth. Why not be happy. God has given us much to be happy about.

I did a little research experiment if you will. While on a the CHT (Church History Tour), every restaurant I went to I told the people I was with to be extremely nice to the waiter/waitress. You wouldn't believe the kind of service we received. Once at an Ihop we sat down and only had about 20 minutes to get our food and eat. We had been told that the service was pour and that if you wanted food you got there an hour early. So we made it a point to be extremely nice and told our waitress about our time dilemma. She very kindly got our food to us within 5 minutes and we ate in 10 leaving us 5 minutes to spare and giving her each five dollars for tip. What a smile she has on her face but why? Because of kindness. When you are happy and respect other they will be happy and respect you. Maybe not always but try to make peoples days happier. "Adam fell that man might be, and men are that they might have joy" Second Nephi 2:25

Rain

It has a funny way of cleansing. The earth is made new. Feelings made clean. But it also makes you realize your faults. Just as if you were to wash the dirt from a rock you will still see its faults and jagged edges. "They always say that the good times come after the storm, when the clouds have all cleared and the weather is warm. But I'll argue the fact that I'll dance in the rain and be just as happy as those who are sane." Today the rain has done the same and although we are supposed to keep our heads up during our deepest and hardest times ... its hard to rejoice and be happy when life sheds one of its great lessons on us. But all we can do is whats right and try to maintain complete happiness. It is something that we all must go through in life but keep the upper edge and love one another. Such a simple rule he asks, Keep my commandments, but when we don't do as he asks things can get rough. So do what is right and hold to the rod.

Something I find Very Interesting

Something I think is very interesting is a simple bench. They are all over the place. I mean think about the last time you've seen one ... where were you? Around a park maybe. Waiting for the bus. Disneyland. There are so many different benches all designed for the same thing. For the simple pleasure of sitting. But have you ever thought of who has sat on that bench? Maybe one of your great ancestors or someone even famous. The ground around it changes but the bench never does. Its also a good place to meet new people. Converse about politics, music, the weather, things of the world, its a place to share information. Always serves the same purpose and is there to help people. What if we took the time to just sit and watch from the side lines. Instead of always being in the action we took the time to watch the world maybe meet a new friend there observing the same. To many people are in to big of a rush. Slow down take the time out of your day to sit and watch. Most of the times you will figure something out, whether it be about yourself or someone else it doesn't matter you are constantly learning.

Just a bit about me.

Hey whats up? My name is Blair Canfield and this is a little about me. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saint or The Mormons. I love my church and soon plan to serve a TWO YEAR mission. I love to share my beliefs with everyone. I love to play the guitar. I compose my own songs and sing as well. I also play volleyball and ping pong. I have two older brothers who are around the age of 35. I am only 18 so you can see where this is a problem. I have 8 Nieces and Nephews. 3 Nieces 5 Nephews. I love little kids. My parents are very awesome. They do a lot for me and I love them with all my heart. I plan on going to BYU when I get back from my mission and we will see how that goes. This is just a little about me ... you can also see my myspace @ www.myspace.com/blaircan .